No.1 Hold in Feedback

Did your opinion matter? A man without confidence keeps his opinions to himself. He believes the world doesn’t care what he has to say, or that his opinions are going to get him in trouble. He swallows his feedback, objections and criticisms. But a confident man knows that his perspective is valuable. Just imagine your boss has to give a presentation but want your opinion first. So, he shows you his work and asks what you think? Do you tell your boss that everything’s perfect or do you express your honest opinion? A confident man will always express himself, because he knows that other people are open to different perspectives, instead of getting angry or annoyed. Most people appreciate honest feedback, they won’t always take your suggestions, but it is worthwhile to consider multiple opinions before making any decision. So, don’t hold your opinion in. If you have an opinion, express yourself out loud, because other people will be glad to hear your perspective.

Hold in 保留，抑制，约束
swallow v.吞下
objection n.反对，异议
criticisms 批评
worthwhile adj.重要的，有益的，值得做的

No.2 Exaggerate Problems

We all have bad habits. Even the most confident men stumble in small ways day after day. But there’s one big difference in the bad habits of confident and unconfident men. Alright, let’s say you struggle with procrastination. Every time, a project comes your way, you stall for days or even weeks. You wait until the last second and your work suffers because of it. Men without confidence view bad habits as massive unsolvable problems. You may dream about fixing your vices, but ultimately, you feel intimidated by your problems. In your mind, it takes too much time and effort to change your ways. But a confident man knows that change starts small and builds over time, he knows that little adjustments can create larger solutions, a new habit may only take five or 10 minutes of your time. Yet that small change could lead you toward a lifetime of progress. So, imagine for example, working for five minutes whenever you feel like procrastinating. Five minutes doesn’t seem like much, doesn’t? But that’s five more minutes than you did the day before, those five minutes of work could easily snowball into 10 minutes, 15 minutes, or even a full hour. In other words, small changes open the door for larger solutions. That’s why a confident man tackles his vices on a daily basis, he doesn’t worry about dramatic transformation or radical solutions. He improves himself in small ways every day because a little change goes a long way.

stumble v.绊脚，绊跌
day after day 日复一日
stall v.（使）熄火，抛锚；故意拖延（以赢得时间）；拖住（某人）；暂缓，搁置，停顿
view v.看待，考虑
intimidated v.威胁，恐吓
tackles 对付
radical adj.根本的，彻底的，激进的
goes a long way 走了一大段路；对……大有帮助

No.3 External Competition

A confident man doesn’t compare himself to other people. He doesn’t measure his accomplishments by the success of others, because there’s only one person you should be comparing yourself to and that person is you. Now, many of us fall into this trap on a daily basis. We look at our friends, our coworkers, our role models, and we feel inadequate by comparison, we compare our lives to theirs, and we criticize ourselves because we feel like we fallen behind. But a confident man knows there’s no such thing as falling behind. So, if you want to measure your own success, reflect on your past, how motivated productive or discipline were you last year, last month, or even last week? Have you grown since then? Have you made changes or accomplish new goals? These are the only kinds of comparisons you should be making, because these are the only comparisons that are actually fair. Just think about how different you are from everyone else in the world, we all come from different backgrounds, we all have unique combinations of experiences. Our personalities have different strengths and weaknesses. So, measuring your success against someone else’s isn’t fair or a good use of your time. A confident man doesn’t try to compete against the rest of the world, while competition can provide healthy motivation, a confident man competes to improve, not to dominate or prove himself to other people.

personalities 性格
dominate 支配

No.4 Imagineary Anger

Do you get scared that other people are angry with you? If you struggle with confidence, this may be in everyday issue. You may get stuck in negative thought patterns, you may overthink every situation, you may worry about how others will react. In the end, this fear suppresses your individuality and stops you from taking chances. The truth is people don’t care as much as you think. You build up huge negative expectations in your head, but in reality, people are far too preoccupied with their own lives. You may think you’re annoying someone else, you may think you’re getting on their nerves each day. But this person may not care about you in the slightest. In other words, you’re scared of a feeling that’s entirely imaginary. A confident man doesn’t worry about how others perceive his actions. He does what makes him happy, he expresses himself when and where he wants to. He is considerate of others, he does take their feelings, opinions and boundaries into account. But he does not let the feelings of others controlling. He does not assume that other people are annoyed or angry with him. Most of the time, anger is imaginary. But there will be times in your life when someone does get upset with you, these are the moments we grow so scared of, but a confident man knows that conflict is a natural part of life. Instead of trying desperately to avoid conflict, you should learn how to handle and diffuse conflict when it happens. When someone is angry with them, people without confidence become rattled and hyper anxious. But a confident man controls his emotions, he apologizes, he tries to fix the problem and then he moves forward. Because that’s really all you can do. If the other person is still angry, the issue may have more to do with them than it does with you.

imagineary adj.想象的，虚构的；虚数的
suppresses 压抑，压制
individuality 个性
taking chances 尝试，抓住机会
preoccupy v.使全神贯注，占据（某人的思想）；提前占据
nerves n.[解剖]神经；神经紧张；胆量
slightest adj.极不重要的，最少的
perceive vt.认为，理解；察觉，注意到；意识到
considerate adj.体贴的，考虑周到的；<旧>小心的，谨慎的
desperately 拼命地
rattled adj.担忧的；紧张的；恼火的
hyper adj.<非正式>（行为）兴奋的，紧张的

No.5 Silent Expression

Do the people you know know that you like them? This is something many unconfident people do. We’ve all gotten attached to certain people in our lives. we have family and friends we see on a regular basis. We frequent certain restaurants and stores. We visit the same places and enjoy interacting with the same people. In your mind, you know that you like these people, but do they know that you like them? Or are you assuming they can read your mind? People without confidence rarely express their feelings out loud, they don’t tell their favorite people how important they are. So, these people never know that they matter. That’s why confident men don’t hesitate to express their feelings. They never assume that others can read their minds. If someone is important to them, whether it’s a family member or a clerk at their favorite store, they make their feelings clear. So, take a moment to think about the people in your life, think about your best friend, do they know how important they are to you? Think about the staff at your favorite restaurant, do they know how much you enjoy eating there? If you rarely express your feelings, the answer is probably no. But these people want to know that they matter to you. Tell your best friend how important they are, tell the staff at your favorite restaurant how much you enjoy their service. If someone is a positive influence in his life, a confident man will express that positivity out loud. So, don’t be afraid to express yourself to the people who matter to you.

gotten attached to 依恋，依附，喜欢上
certain pron.某些，某几个

No.6 Create False Impressions

Do you buy things to create a particular impression? Do you try to make yourself look successful? Many unconfident people rely on clothes and cars to compensate for their lack of confidence. They want others to believe they’re important and successful. They’ll buy brand name items to create an image of success to trick people into believing there’s something that they’re not. But expensive items are just a Band-Aid covering a larger issue. When someone sees you as successful, it gives you a rush, it makes you feel confident in the moment. But when that confidence fades, you feel just as insecure as you did before, maybe even more. You end up chasing that temporary feeling instead of building real confidence for yourself. You end up buying all kinds of expensive things and pursuit of that feeling, but money cannot buy your confidence, just like money cannot buy your happiness. Expensive clothes and cars create an outward impression, but the person inside remains the same. That’s why confident men don’t buy things they can’t afford. They don’t worry about how successful people think they are, because real confidence comes from inside you. If you have real confidence, it doesn’t matter what clothes you wear or what car you drive.

outward adj.外表的，表面的

No.7 Ashamed of Himself

But car you drive never ashamed of who they are. They don’t try to hide their individuality. They embrace their unique qualities and pursue what makes them happy. A confident man is secure with himself, but he’s always willing to improve. This is a mistake that countless people make, when building self-esteem, you may view confidence as the end of the road, you imagine that you’ll be finished or complete as soon as you find confidence, but finding confidence doesn’t mean you’re done growing. In fact, it’s exactly the opposite. A confident man is open to learning new things, a confident man is happy with who he is. But he’s always searching for new ways to improve, because a confident man knows that finding confidence isn’t the end of your journey. It’s just the beginning.

Ashamed adj.感到羞愧，感到羞耻；羞于（做某事）
individuality n.个性，个人特征
embrace v.拥抱；欣然接受，乐意采纳；包括，涉及；围绕，环绕
pursue v.追求，致力于