NO.1 Striving For Improvement
Leaders, counselors and psychologists have long wondered what’s the best way to teach emotional intelligence. Dozens of Educational strategies of surfaced in the past, one popular technique focuses on individual weaknesses. It forces people to address their own failures. But instead of increasing emotional intelligence, this technique makes people defensive. Their self-awareness decreases and their perspective becomes even more shallow. A recent report in the Harvard Business Review revealed a much more effective strategy. To teach emotional intelligence, the key is self-exploration. Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, experts recommend exploring your hopes and challenging your fears. By striving for self-improvement, you can broaden your perspective, you discover new facets of your personality, and most importantly, learn how to empathize with yourself. So, take just a minute to ask yourself, “How well do I know myself?” “Do I spend time on a regular basis exploring my individuality?” These questions can be really difficult to answer. So, here’s a helpful trick, if you realize that you have a lot to learn you already have your answer. The simple fact is, you’re much more emotionally intelligent and you think.
striving v.努力，奋斗；斗争，反抗（strive 的现在分词）
counselors n.辅导员；顾问（counselor 的复数形式）
defensive adj.防御的，戒备的；生气的，发怒的；（比赛中）防守的，防御的；百般辩解的
shallow adj.肤浅的
revealed v.揭露，透露；显示（reveal 的过去式和过去分词）
facets n.（宝石的）琢面；（事物的）方面特征；（构成昆虫或甲壳动物复眼的）小眼面；（骨或牙上的）小平面（facet 的复数）
empathize v.有同感，起共鸣，同情
NO.2 The Power Of A Pause
Countless people with high emotional intelligence share one powerful habit. Imagine your friend asks you an emotional question like, “What do you think of me?” A question like this is loaded with pitfalls. Should you give an honest answer? Should you tell your friend what they want to hear? And why are they asking this question in the first place? Well, most of the time people don’t think about what they say. When a difficult question comes their way, they answer immediately. But that’s like swinging at a baseball with your eyes closed. It’s inaccurate, it’s unreliable, and it’s a terrible way to hit a home run. That’s why emotionally intelligent people take a moment to process. When they’re given a big question, they consider their answer from all angles. They reflect on their own feelings and consider their friends feelings too. In this brief moment of silence, emotionally intelligent people turn a quick and reckless answer into something honest and thoughtful. This pause is also a sign of emotional control. If you answer without thinking, your emotions have control over you. Those strong feelings push the words out of your mouth before you have a chance to think. But if you pause before you speak, you are in control. Oh and that’s not all. This moment of silence shows that you’re also empatheti. You understand that your words have an emotional impact on the people around you, so you’re careful and considerate with the things you say. Not only does this spare you from many embarrassing moments, it also strengthens your relationships. Impulsive emotions rarely reflect your genuine feelings. Off-the-cuff comments can easily damage friendships and relationships. However, if you’re careful with your words, people value the things you say. In the long run, this forms deeper bonds and mutual respect. So, pay attention the next time someone asks you a challenging question, do you say the first thing that pops into your head? Or do you take a second for yourself? If you know the power of a pause, you may be an emotionally intelligent person.
pause n.暂停，停顿；暂停键；延长记号 v.暂停，停顿；（按暂停键）暂停；踌躇
pitfalls n.陷阱；诱惑（pitfall 的复数）
in the first place 首先，最初
comes their way 向他们走来
swinging v.摆动；纵身跃向；（使）弧线运动；（使）突然转向；（挥动某物）朝……打去
inaccurate adj.不精确的，不准确的
hit a home run 击出全垒打
reckless adj.鲁莽的，不计后果的；粗心大意的
empathetic adj.移情作用的；同感的；同理心
impulsive adj.冲动的；脉冲的
genuine adj.真正的，非伪造的；真诚的，真心的
off-the-cuff adj.即兴的，即席的
NO.3 Emotional Labeling
Can you identify your own emotions? Emotionally intelligent people have a broad vocabulary for their own feelings. When any emotion washes over them, they can pinpoint that feeling in a way that most people can’t. Okay, let’s say you just won an award, you’re standing on stage staring out at the crowd clapping just for you, how does that make you feel? Someone with low emotional intelligence might say they feel good. But an emotionally intelligent person would describe that feeling very differently. They identify pride, relief and maybe a little bit of embarrassment. If you have high emotional intelligence, you can recognize a detailed spectrum of emotions both positive and negative. In your mind, emotions are far more complicated than just good and bad. Your high emotional intelligence zooms in on the tiny nuances that differentiate anger from frustration, or happiness from excitement. That skill set extends beyond your own brain. When you can label complex emotions in yourself, you can identify the same emotions in others. Oftentimes, as an emotionally intelligent person, you understand people’s emotions better than they do. When they’re feeling good or bad, you’re the one who elaborates for them. You understand what’s really happening under the surface, even if they don’t. That right there, is the essence of emotional intelligence.
broad adj.宽广的，宽阔的
vocabulary n.全部词汇
wash over 彻底深入地影响或感受
pinpoint v.精准确定（位置或时间）
relief n.（因恐惧、忧虑或痛苦的消除而感到的）宽慰，轻松
embarrassment n.尴尬，难堪
spectrum n.范围，幅度；光谱；波谱，频谱；余象
zoom in 放大
nuances 细微差别
differentiate v.使不同；求……的微分；区别
frustration n.懊恼，沮丧；受阻，挫败
extend v.延伸；扩充；继承
extends beyond 超出，超越，延伸至更远的范围或时间
essence n.本质，要素；香精，香料
NO.4 Transformational Leadership
Have you ever met someone whose vision inspired you to perform at your best? According to a 2000 study in the leadership and organization development journal, transformational leaders are some of the most powerful role models in our society. They instigate change, the unite communities, they promote a sense of identity by challenging you to take possession of your accomplishments. Transformational leaders are adaptable, self-disciplined, and most of all, they’re emotionally intelligent. The goal of any transformational leader is simple, they motivate groups of people by activating their sense of self, or maybe it’s a team of coworkers in the office, or a crowd of volunteers showing up for a good cause. Whatever the situation, transformational leaders inspire others to push above and beyond. They connect with individuals on an emotional level, and that connection draws attention from other people. Their followers learn to admire and respect transformation or leaders because their leaders return the favor. They put their faith in their followers by giving them autonomy and responsibility. They understand the strengths and weaknesses of their followers, they encourage them to personally invest in every project, because that investment drives their performance. All of these skills require an incredible amount of emotional intelligence. To be a transformational leader, you have to connect with people, you have to understand people, and you have to value their input. According to the Harvard Business Review, transformational leaders stand at the forefront of modern industry, not only does this interpersonal style increase performance, it also encourages a positive attitude in the workplace. But there are transformational leaders outside the professional world too. In classrooms, and friend groups, even in relationships, transformational leaders use their emotional intelligence to bring the best out of others. So, if you try to inspire people, if you collaborate with others to create change, you’re not just a natural leader, you’re also emotionally intelligent.
transformational adj.与转变有关的；变革型的
perform at your best 尽力表现
instigate v.使（正式）开始，使发生
take possession of 占有，取得控制
adaptable adj.能适应的，适应性强的
a good cause 一个好的目的或事业
push above and beyond 努力超越
draw attention 引起注意
admire v.钦佩，仰慕；欣赏，观赏
return the favor 回报恩惠
drive v.驱动
forefront n.重要位置，最前沿；（思考、关注的）重心
interpersonal adj.人际关系的，人际的
the professional world 专业领域
bring the best out of others 激发别人最好的一面
NO.5 Explaining Your Critiques
Most people don’t know how to give feedback, their critiques come off as insults or personal attacks. Why is that? Because they rarely consider the impact their opinions have on others. As an emotionally intelligent person, you’re a constructive critic, you recognize the failures of others but you address those failures in uplifting and meaningful ways. When you supply feedback to a co-worker, friend or partner, your goal is never to kick them when they’re down. Instead, you use critiques to motivate and encourage others. But what separates an insult from constructive feedback? While tone, phrasing and timing all play a role. The biggest difference is detail. You explain your opinions. If a coworkers being lazy, you don’t attack their work ethic, you explain why you think their productivity is suffering. Emotionally intelligent people turn every critique into a meaningful conversation. You don’t tell people their flaws, you help them improve.
critiques 评论
come off 出现，显得，表现，表现得如何
insult v.侮辱；辱骂；n.无礼；损害
critic 批评家
uplifting adj.令人振奋的；使人开心的
kick v.踢，踢腿
down adv.倒下
separates v.分离（separate 的三单）
suffering n.（内心或肉体的）痛苦，问题；痛苦的感觉 v.遭受；经历；（因疾病、痛苦、悲伤等）受痛苦，受损害（suffer 的现在分词形式）
flaws n.[材]缺陷；[力]裂缝
NO.6 Careful Commitments
How often do you break your promises? Do you make commitments to people without thinking? People with low emotional intelligence stretch themselves too thin. They’re scared to say no, so they make commitments to everyone. But in the end, they find themselves backed into a corner. These broken promises cause permanent damage to your friendships and relationships. That’s why as an emotionally intelligent person, you’re careful with your commitments. If a friend asks you for a favor, you don’t say yes right away, you ask them for some time to think, you step away and give yourself some perspective. Once you know for sure, you can keep that promise. Only then do you make a firm commitment to someone. In the long run, this careful routine builds an incredible amount of trust between friends and partners. Saying no is uncomfortable in the moment, but it’s the most considerate option in the long run. Breaking promises is never the right answer. So, if you’re careful with your commitments, if you’re not afraid to say no, that you have high emotional intelligence.
break your promises 打破你的承诺
stretch v.（使）变大，拉长
thin adj.薄的，细的
scared adj.惊恐的，恐惧的；担心的，焦虑的 v.使惊恐，吓唬；受惊吓，害怕（scare 的过去式和过去分词）
backed into a corner 陷入困境
cause v.引起
permanent adj.永久的，永恒的；（尤指问题或困难）不断出现的，一直存在的；（员工）终生的，长期的；（家庭住址）固定的
right away 立刻
step away 稍稍退后
firm adj.结实的，坚硬的；牢固的，稳固的
in the moment 在当下
considerate adj.体贴的，考虑周到的
in the long run 在长期来看
NO.7 Deciphering Strangers
Do you have an eye for honest and genuine people? Emotional intelligence makes you a shrewd judge of character. In just a few minutes, you can decipher almost anyone. You pick up on small vocal clues, you recognize little changes in body language, you understand subtext better than anyone. With high emotional intelligence, you can read any stranger like a book. Just imagine you are interviewing a new hire at your company. Interviews often bring out the worst in people. Interviewees will fabricate a fake personality, just to get on the interviewers good side. But emotionally intelligent people can see right through this facade. So, why is that? Because emotionally intelligent people pay attention to the little things. You can identify a wide array of specific feelings, which helps you recognize nuanced emotions in other people. You can always tell when an emotion is genuine, and when it isn’t. So, if you’ve got a good eye for people, you may have more emotional intelligence than most.
deciphering n.[通信]解密 v.破译（decipher 的 ing 形式）；解释；辨认
have an eye for 有眼光
shrewd adj.（人）精明的，机敏的；（决定和判断）精明的，准确的；
vocal adj.嗓音的，发声的
subtext n.潜台词；潜在的意思
fabricate v.制造，生产；捏造，编造
personality n.人格
get on 与某人相处融洽
facade n.（建筑物的）正面，立面；假象，伪装
a wide array of 大量的，广泛的
nuanced adj.微妙的；具有细微差别的
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